I’ve been thinking of writing this short text hoping that I will be able to bring myself back. I admitted that I’ve emotionally overreacted lately. Influenced by a part of my stressful studies and that of my bad personality, I’ve behaved like a psycho.
I’ve never thought that I pushed myself this far. Also, I’ve made a few people around me upset and feel unease with me. I still can’t cut down the habit of involving other people in when I am not in a good mood. I knew that everything I’ve done is not good but still I let it happen as the way it shouldn’t have. I’ve been promising myself that I will change, yet I cannot. I repeat the same mistake over and over. I let my emotion control myself rather than control it. I hardly can control my feeling since it’s easily attacked and very fragile. Honestly, I’m kind of losing my attention and I cannot calm myself down when I run into any trouble, even the small one.
Sometimes, it seems like my mind is having a hot volcano in it. I have no strong will to stop it but let it go. I’m really weak and always think negatively. I knew that nothing bad happened, but still I wasted my time thinking about it. I'm even afraid without any clear reason. Don’t dare to think that these are some causes in mental illness though they really are.
Happily, I finally figured out that everything caused from me. I’m the only one who brought everything up. I wasted my time worrying about things I should not have. Thanks to one of my professors for giving me such a good advice that completely woke me up from a dream. I need to step back and think about what I’ve done so far. Besides, I need to let my mind and my brain rest. Hope that everything will become normal as it used to be. Cheers ^-^
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